Relationship Counselling
Relationship Counselling involves looking at issues arising between two people (husband and wife, partners, friends or work colleagues).
Relationships offer the most powerful opportunities for personal and interpersonal growth. When conflict develops in a relationship, it becomes an opportunity, to deepen that relationship.
The conflict between a couple highlights the deeper conflict that is going on within each person and in this sense all relationships have wise purpose as they draw attention to what we need to look at in ourselves.
Conflict is always about unmet needs.
The aim of relationship counselling is to help you become conscious of the wisdom of your protective response to others whom you are in relationship with. This work is about emergence rather than change.
All behaviour is wise and makes sense psychologically to the person displaying the behaviour and realising this wisdom allows compassion to develop and compassion allows you to respond maturely rather than protectively.
The mature response is always there but when we are fearful of hurt we respond protectively.
Often we will be attracted to someone because they show the behaviours we had to hide and the wisdom of the relationship is we need to learn to bring that side out more.
Needs in the Couple Relationship
- Need for love, respect & security
- Need for care & emotional support
- Need to be valued & cherished for self
- Need to offer love, respect, care & emotional support to others
- Need for sexual gratification
- Need to be listened to
- Need for difference between you to be valued & respected
A person who learned to dominant will often be attracted to someone compliant, both these protective behaviours are extremes, the dominant person needs to become less dominant and more assertive, the compliant person to be less compliant and more assertive.
